Kind of gruesome, I know. But it's seriously how i feel sometimes. Sorry if you were disturbed...Ever since I entered the working world as a teenager, I've always promised myself that I would never let my job become my life.
Turns out avoiding that is more difficult than you'd think, and it's quite an unfortunate predicament to get caught up in.
I'm pretty sure my most commonly used phrase in the last few months of my life has been, "I can't, I have to work". And I'm pretty sure 90% of the people I know have pleaded with me to quit this job that is taking over my life. But people, I can't. And is it so terrible that I like this job?
I mean, I obviously don't like the fact that I never have time for anything or anyone anymore. Or that I am on the schedule to work 8 hour days, but they just happen to turn into 10 or 11 hour days EVERY time. Or that I get a 5 minute "lunch break" on busy Fridays. I don't like that scheduling a dentist appointment is more difficult than trying to regrow an amputated limb. And actually making an appointment is even more difficult. I don't like that I miss out on Wakeboard Wednesday with my friends every single week because by the time I get off, it's over. I don't like that I have to eat out all. the. time now because I have no time to cook anymore. I don't like that I can't feel my feet and my ankles are swollen by the end of the day because I've been standing for 10+ hours. And I don't like being cooped up indoors at work all day when there's an amazing rain storm going on outside - you know, the one I've been waiting for all year because I love rain. Yeah, I don't like that.
But I do like that I get to talk to people all day long. It's amazing the people you meet and the things you learn working at a bank. Because, come on, almost everyone banks - everyone from recently released inmates to church pastors to multi-millionaires who started their own business from the ground up. You meet really interesting people. You encounter the happiest of happy people, to the grumpiest of grumps. And with the grumps, you just have to hope that once you've finished helping them, they can leave happier than when they came. When I ask a customer how he's doing today and he says "Oh, I'm okay..", I say, "Just okay?? Why not great?" and thus commences a conversation about how he had plans to run all kinds of errands today and to have a productive day, but his car blew a tire and now he's waiting for new tires and had to walk down the street to the bank to withdraw money to pay the tire guys and now he's behind on all the things he has to do and he still needs to pick up his kid from school.. You get the idea. But I always tell those customers, "Well, I can tell you this - You are going to have a better day by the time you leave here today", with a smile. And I just hope that they do.
Don't get me wrong. It's inevitable to have to deal with one or two of those unbearably mean and sour customers each day. The ones that make you want to smack them in the face and walk out and say something like, "You know, I don't HAVE to do this for you. This is a SERVICE, Mr. Grump, so you can just...... (insert your own creative insult)." Oh yes, I have had my share of those customers.
But then you have the incredibly delightful and sweet 87-year-old woman, like Mrs. Collins (names have been changed to maintain confidentiality), who slowly walks up to your teller window almost every day with her complimentary cup of coffee and compliments you on how you always look so nice and invites you to her yard sale she is having this weekend and tells you how wonderful you are and thanks you excessively for helping her today. Yes, it's customers like Mrs. Collins that make it all worth it. It's customers like her that make you want to go out of your way to help them. It's customers like her that just make my day.
So I guess you could say I like my job.
I just wish there was a better way to even out my work-life balance that I have worked so hard to maintain all my life.
I wish I had time to sew again. And to play the piano. And to go out when it's still daylight to enjoy the nice weather. And to cook. And to blog (I got today off for my roommates wedding - ONLY reason I have time for this). And to go visit my family. And to enjoy being young, like I'm supposed to.
And sadly enough, when I DO have time for those things, that's when I just want to sit on the couch and put my feet up and do absolutely nothing.
So yes, it's true. I think I can officially be deemed the dreaded label of "Workaholic". Sorry world, playing will have to wait while I make a living over here.
Until my next day off, assuming I have the motivation and energy to sign on to Blogger, my faithful blog followers - I still love you.