Life is funny sometimes.
Making decisions is hard.
Just when you think you have the next 100 years of your life planned out and golden, something changes and you gotta change all those 100 years of plans.
Believe me, I definitely had my whole life planned out. I'm just like that.
Here's what my life plan looked like:
2009-2013: Attend NAU, finishing my Bachelor's in 4 years like a normal person.
(Maybe get married somewhere in there.) Work at the same awesome job the whole time.
2013-2015: Attend Grad-School to get my Master's (preferably at UW, but depending on if I have a husband and where he wants/needs to go)
2015: Start teaching at a high school wherever the man and I decide to settle down.
~ 2016: Start a family. Stop teaching full-time, be a part-time substitute teacher. After all the kiddos are in school, go back to full-time teaching.
Many, Many Years in the Future: Be happy and old.
If you know me, you know that I'm the kind of person who always has to have a plan. I always have some kind of agenda for every minute of every day. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate spontaneity and love to participate in it, but there is a time and a place for that. Disorganization scares me. And uncertainty. As of late, my life has been a big bubble of disorganization and uncertainty. My worst nightmare? I think yes.
But I've learned that sometimes, you just gotta take a leap of faith.
My wise father says,
"Sometimes, you have to get off of the highway of life and take some side streets. Or maybe even stop at a rest stop. If you do that, as hard as it is, you can be better prepared to get back on the highway. Even if it puts you a little bit behind."Thanks for that metaphor. It's true.
So, that's what I am doing; taking a leap of faith and getting of the "highway" for a bit. Hoping that the side streets will help me slow down, get my ducks in a row, and analyze my situation. One tough life decision I have recently had to make, and it has been a very long internal battle, was that I finally have decided to take a semester off of school.. Yes, that means I did not enroll in classes for the 2010-2011 Spring semester at NAU. Taking a semester off of school was something I have been advised against by several people, and I swore I never would. But WATCH ME! I mean, that was the past, and right now this is what feels right for my life. And as much as getting "behind" totally blows, I feel at peace with this decision. I mean, besides the fact that I had no choice financially, one thing that helped me make this decision and feel good about it was the fact that I am going to be able to work A LOT and make some pretty good money. Which I NEED desperately, in order to dig myself out of this "super fun" financial pit that I am in. And then, come next Fall, I will be able to get back onto the "highway" and get closer to reaching my destination: GRADUATION. So there are ups to this. It's taken awhile, but I can see that now.
And.... I'm okay! That is the best part of this all.
Yes, I have had to make some serious life decisions in the past couple weeks; I have experienced a lot of "the unexpected"; I have had a couple "minor" emotional breakdowns in my academic adviser's office as well as in the arms of one of my best friends... But I AM OKAY. It's all good.
Thanks to all who have been a support to me through this. And to everyone: just know, it's OKAY if your life plans change a little bit. That's life. It was a really hard thing for my structured-self to learn, but I know now.