Thursday, December 30, 2010


Hi friends. Jacquie Here.

I know, it's been awhile. But like I've said before, I don't like blogging just for the sake of blogging. Who wants to read that stuff? Not me. So, after quite some time of "writer's block", if you will, I'm back!

Let me tell you... the last couple weeks of classes and FINALS kicked my little bum. I was a busy woman. A little crazy too. But grades were posted last week and I am very pleased. Very. I was a bit nervous checking grades before Christmas because I was a liitttttlleeee worried and didn't want them to ruin my weekend. I was weak; I checked them anyway. I was greeted with a pleasant surprise.. I may even go as far as to say it was like an early Christmas gift! A,A,A,B. 3.725. I'm okay with you calling me "Smarty Pants" for the next little bit.. (haha) Anyway, nothing like the satisfaction you feel when you get good grades after MONTHS of really hard work. I probably worked the hardest this semester and it PAID OFF! Yes. I just bragged a little bit.

Aaanyway, that was definitely a tangent from what I came here to say today.

And what I came here to say today is pretty much more unimportant, random stuff. Because lately, I've been thinking about several things and I feel the need to share tid-bits of them.

Like this:
Holidays are so different now. I hate to sound like a downer or a Scrooge.. but they just are. I guess that's just what happens with "age", but I feel like a lot of people my age still get that happy, nostalgic feeling about the holidays and I got kicked out of that ability a little too early. Part of it, of course, is because I am on my own now and don't always have friends and family surrounding me. Or fresh baked holiday goodies constantly popping out of the oven (unless I bake them myself). And a lot of it is because I had a sliiight interruption on my youth due to my parents deciding to split up like the day before I left for college a little over a year ago. And now every time the holidays come around, it's like 'Uhh.. do we even still have traditions? Or are we like supposed to make news ones?' And as much as I try to be "joyful and triumphant", I still can't help but feel lonely, stressed, uncomfortable, and frustrated during the holidays. Yay. It's almost like the holidays are a reminder that things are not the same at "home" anymore.
BUT - I still love the holidays. I still love BLASTING Christmas music in my car everywhere I drive from Black Friday to Christmas Day. I LOVE wrapping gifts. I love snow. I love reading the December Ensign and Luke 2. I love watching Christmas movies without stopping. I love decorating a Christmas tree and hanging a wreath. I love Christmas musical programs and firesides at church. I love drinking hot chocolate with way too many marshmallows. I love wearing long-john jammies. I love the food. I love thinking about and remembering Christ: His birth, His ministry, His amazing life, and His huge sacrifice. And I love that the season just makes people want to reach out and love and serve one another.
So this year, though it is sometimes hard not to pinpoint my thoughts on the negatives as stated above, I tried really hard to focus on the things that I still love about the holidays. And guess what.. Success! I didn't "get through" the holidays, I ENJOYED them. And I'm glad!

Christmas at Apt. 231

And this:
I hate to make this whole post about how much growing up sucks. But something else I have began to notice recently is how easy it is to become distant from your friends. And that is just the saddest thing ever. I hate the feeling that a really close friend and I are growing apart. And I have felt that too much this year. What is it about getting older that makes us worse at keeping in touch and remembering to check up on each other? I know that I, myself, am guilty of all of the above. But why? Is it because we are so busy? Is it because we are very consumed in making something of our grown-up lives? Is it because we are searching for or have found someone to love? Is it because we are naturally a lot more self-centered and self-involved because, like I said, we are deciding what to do and who we are gonna be? Because it sounds to me like all of those things are reasons why we should NEED to have our close friends still be close to us. I just find it very sad. Because in high school and stuff, we always talk with our best friends about how we're gonna live next door to each other forever and our kids are going to marry each other and we will be best friends happily ever after. But then we go to different colleges. And we forget to say hi every once in awhile. Even if we still love and value each other. It's just hard to remind each other of that. But WHY? This is something that I will never understand. And it pains me. I'm sorry if I forget to be a good friend and check up on you every once in awhile.. I still love you. I promise.
New Year's Resolution: Still be my best friends' best friend. Remember to tell them that I love them. Show them I care about the things they are doing with their lives. Make a real effort to get together with them in person more often. And definitely to be more patient with those friends who haven't figured this out yet.

Remember these days? Before we got 'old' and forgot about each other?

And this:
I'm not going to be going back to school for 8 months. EIGHT months, people. After I took my LAST final of the semester, I turned it in and walked out of the classroom kind of in a daze. A friend and I were walking back home from class after that and he asked me, "So, how does it feel to be done with school for 8 whole months?". And it hit me. Weird. That's how it feels. Right now, I still don't know whether I should leap for joy or feel sad.. I've been a student ever since... forever. And suddenly I'm not going to be for 8 months. I wonder.. Will I miss it? Will I see my roommates doing homework or projects and be jealous? Will I be excited to go back in the Fall? Will I get sick of a full-time job? Or will I be relieved that I don't have any assignments that keep me up all night? Will I love working full-time? Will it be hard to go back in the Fall? How will I feel? I don't know. It's kind of a foreign concept. Ask me in 8 months.

Note to self: Don't walk home from night class in the snow without a hat.
Guess I won't have to worry about THAT this semester...

And this:
I feel like I gotta add something that's a little more upbeat than the rest of this post to finish it off. Haha. So last week, I got to bring two of my youngest little sisters, Sara & Sofia, to my apartment for a few days leading up to Christmas. I got to play mommy. It was SO fun to have them here. They are the sweetest little things and I miss them all the time so I was really happy to get to keep them all to myself for a few days. We did so many fun things.. We went hot tubbing, we made big, yummy meals, had a spa day, watched lots of movies, checked out books and movies from the local public library, built the biggest fort I have ever seen in my life in my living room, went out for ice cream, played in the snow, went for walks, had a sleepover in the fort, read lots of books, and just spent lots of quality time together. It's really fun for me to get to watch them growing up, even though I miss a lot of it being away from them. But Sofie is getting so smart! She read the entire book, "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" by Dr. Seuss to me. And lots of others. She loves reading. And she KICKS my butt at word searches. And Sara - Sara is such a sweetheart. I swear that girl is an angel. She's really creative too. She wrote a book while she was at my house and seriously, it was better than any book I would've written. I told her she HAS to get it published. She even illustrated it with really detailed, cute drawings. I really loved getting to spend time with those girls and I think it was a really good way for me to get closer to them and let them know how much their big sister loves them and wants them to be happy. :) I also loved getting to act a little bit like a kid again!

These are my little girls on their first day of school last year.
So cute, right? You can see why they make me so happy :)

So that's what has been going on in my head and in my life for the last little bit.

Tell me...
Did you get grades back?
How were the holidays for you?
Do you have any suggestions for staying close to your friends who are far away?
Have you made fun memories with your family this winter?



  1. Dammit. I just typed this whole long comment and then lost it. Damn. it.

    Well, maybe it was meant to be that way. Maybe I was giving bad advice. I'll cut to the chase:

    It isn't always your fault if a friendship fades. Some of them are meant to. People change, and unless you are CONSTANTLY interacting with them, your changes aren't always going to mesh well. That is why a person's spouse is intended to be their best friend. They evolve so intricately together that nobody else fits anymore. You can still have a couple of people who you are especially close with that stay around, but isn't going to be that harem of besties that you had in high school, or even as a freshman. At least that is my theory. I've never been married, so it is still just a hypothesis.

    My other thought was more spontaneous (I have pondered the friend thing previously). Family memories: I don't recall any specific lasting moments with my family this Christmas. But, I feel like I added some layers of familial love to the Finch family sedimentary rock. Kind of like rings on a tree. Each little bit of loving time spent together isn't all that memorable, but when you add them up they make something awesome. Like a Giant Sequoia.

    I'm a science geek. So sue me.

  2. I really appreciate Colton's comments. I've been thinking the same things about friendships lately, and he's right. Some are meant to fade. But you're always forming new friendships, too. And I think every person you form a relationship with is meant to help you, or you're meant to help them, in that particular stage of life. You can gain or learn something from each other. Not to say you should never keep in contact with anyone, but in some cases it's just a natural process. Remember when we lost touch for a while? But then we found each other again and I'm so thankful you're around :)

    I've been down in Mesa making my own tree rings...and it sounds like you have too with Sara and Sofie! You had your sisters around, music, goodies, a focus on Christ, and a lot of love. That's a recipe for a perfect Christmas, even if there is that "different" feeling. I bet your sisters are so happy that they have someone like you to look up to. Anyway. I hope you have a good rest of the break and I will see you in a few weeks :)

  3. I love you and totally know what you are going through. Those changes and going separate ways with friends is tough and sometimes excruciating! I went through that, and let me tell you, it doesn't get much better after you get married either. But guess what, it will all work out. It's hard to see it that way, but that's the only thing that keeps me going. I know I'm not the friend you were referring to in this post, but I am going to try harder to keep in touch with you more and do a better job at being a good friend. I'm glad every time you come down to the valley that you go out of your way to come see me. That really means a lot to me, and I love it! Thank you Jacquie for being such a great example to me. If you EVER need someone to talk to, I am always here for you... you know that. I have been through so much of what you're going through and would love to be able to help you with all that I can.

    On a happier note, be prepared for a PERSONAL phone call on Thursday the 13th of January. That is the day we will (hopefully) be finding out the gender of our baby. I'm sorry I didn't call you as promised like last time, but you will get a phone call right after the ultrasound. I love you so much and am glad to have you as my sister! Keep your chin up and just maybe you'll see me in your Winter Wonderland sooner than I think. :)

  4. When you are young your traditions are your family's traditions, and your sense of the magic/spirit of Christmas is there because your parents put in the work for it. Now that you're older it IS time to start some traditions of your own. Now you get to figure out what activities and moments make/made the holidays special for you, and you are responsible for following through on them. It's OK, now is your time to be you!

  5. I LOVE when so many people comment on my blog :) I love open discussions like this. :) So thank you, ALL for for your input and thoughts.

    @Colton - You crack me up. Your comments are always the best haha. Sorry you lost your first draft, friend. But I do appreciate the effort put in to type it up again. I'm sure it was better than the first anyway.. Like you said, it was probably meant to happen. So thank you for your input.. I agree that THAT is why our spouses are supposed to be our best friends.. Cause they're all we've got for the rest of forever :)

    @Kylee - I love it when you comment on my blog too! Makes me happy. I totally agree that each person/friendship/relationship we have in our lives happen for a reason. One of us needs the other for one reason or another. And we are supposed to learn something from every experience. And yes, they all come at a certain time in our lives when they are supposed to - just what we need at that time. Thanks for reminding me of that. I honestly can't think of any relationship in my life that I've had ("romantic" or not) that I haven't gained some good insight from or learned something from.. whether or not the relationship was a good one. Haha. Does that make sense?

    @B - Thanks for your comment too :) And if there is anyone who I know understands me and can relate, it's you!! I love that I can talk to you/call you! I love that. And I love coming to see you in Mesa when I'm there - I try to make that a priority. I know that our frienship/sisterhood (haha) will never be one of the ones that fades. :) It'd be too hard to lose touch with/forget about you! LOVE YOU!! And yay for BABY DARK! Can't wait for that call.

    @Morgan - Thanks for that! It's totally true.. what a great way to look at it! I love making my own traditions. I've enjoyed that this past year or so and I seriously always look forward to developing my own with my future family. :) Love you, Cousin!

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