Untitled.

Hi friends. Jacquie Here.

I know, it's been awhile. But like I've said before, I don't like blogging just for the sake of blogging. Who wants to read that stuff? Not me. So, after quite some time of "writer's block", if you will, I'm back!

Let me tell you... the last couple weeks of classes and FINALS kicked my little bum. I was a busy woman. A little crazy too. But grades were posted last week and I am very pleased. Very. I was a bit nervous checking grades before Christmas because I was a liitttttlleeee worried and didn't want them to ruin my weekend. I was weak; I checked them anyway. I was greeted with a pleasant surprise.. I may even go as far as to say it was like an early Christmas gift! A,A,A,B. 3.725. I'm okay with you calling me "Smarty Pants" for the next little bit.. (haha) Anyway, nothing like the satisfaction you feel when you get good grades after MONTHS of really hard work. I probably worked the hardest this semester and it PAID OFF! Yes. I just bragged a little bit.

Aaanyway, that was definitely a tangent from what I came here to say today.

And what I came here to say today is pretty much more unimportant, random stuff. Because lately, I've been thinking about several things and I feel the need to share tid-bits of them.

Like this:
Holidays are so different now. I hate to sound like a downer or a Scrooge.. but they just are. I guess that's just what happens with "age", but I feel like a lot of people my age still get that happy, nostalgic feeling about the holidays and I got kicked out of that ability a little too early. Part of it, of course, is because I am on my own now and don't always have friends and family surrounding me. Or fresh baked holiday goodies constantly popping out of the oven (unless I bake them myself). And a lot of it is because I had a sliiight interruption on my youth due to my parents deciding to split up like the day before I left for college a little over a year ago. And now every time the holidays come around, it's like 'Uhh.. do we even still have traditions? Or are we like supposed to make news ones?' And as much as I try to be "joyful and triumphant", I still can't help but feel lonely, stressed, uncomfortable, and frustrated during the holidays. Yay. It's almost like the holidays are a reminder that things are not the same at "home" anymore.
BUT - I still love the holidays. I still love BLASTING Christmas music in my car everywhere I drive from Black Friday to Christmas Day. I LOVE wrapping gifts. I love snow. I love reading the December Ensign and Luke 2. I love watching Christmas movies without stopping. I love decorating a Christmas tree and hanging a wreath. I love Christmas musical programs and firesides at church. I love drinking hot chocolate with way too many marshmallows. I love wearing long-john jammies. I love the food. I love thinking about and remembering Christ: His birth, His ministry, His amazing life, and His huge sacrifice. And I love that the season just makes people want to reach out and love and serve one another.

So this year, though it is sometimes hard not to pinpoint my thoughts on the negatives as stated above, I tried really hard to focus on the things that I still love about the holidays. And guess what.. Success! I didn't "get through" the holidays, I ENJOYED them. And I'm glad!

Christmas at Apt. 231

And this:
I hate to make this whole post about how much growing up sucks. But something else I have began to notice recently is how easy it is to become distant from your friends. And that is just the saddest thing ever. I hate the feeling that a really close friend and I are growing apart. And I have felt that too much this year. What is it about getting older that makes us worse at keeping in touch and remembering to check up on each other? I know that I, myself, am guilty of all of the above. But why? Is it because we are so busy? Is it because we are very consumed in making something of our grown-up lives? Is it because we are searching for or have found someone to love? Is it because we are naturally a lot more self-centered and self-involved because, like I said, we are deciding what to do and who we are gonna be? Because it sounds to me like all of those things are reasons why we should NEED to have our close friends still be close to us. I just find it very sad. Because in high school and stuff, we always talk with our best friends about how we're gonna live next door to each other forever and our kids are going to marry each other and we will be best friends happily ever after. But then we go to different colleges. And we forget to say hi every once in awhile. Even if we still love and value each other. It's just hard to remind each other of that. But WHY? This is something that I will never understand. And it pains me. I'm sorry if I forget to be a good friend and check up on you every once in awhile.. I still love you. I promise.
New Year's Resolution: Still be my best friends' best friend. Remember to tell them that I love them. Show them I care about the things they are doing with their lives. Make a real effort to get together with them in person more often. And definitely to be more patient with those friends who haven't figured this out yet.

Remember these days? Before we got 'old' and forgot about each other?

And this:
I'm not going to be going back to school for 8 months. EIGHT months, people. After I took my LAST final of the semester, I turned it in and walked out of the classroom kind of in a daze. A friend and I were walking back home from class after that and he asked me, "So, how does it feel to be done with school for 8 whole months?". And it hit me. Weird. That's how it feels. Right now, I still don't know whether I should leap for joy or feel sad.. I've been a student ever since... forever. And suddenly I'm not going to be for 8 months. I wonder.. Will I miss it? Will I see my roommates doing homework or projects and be jealous? Will I be excited to go back in the Fall? Will I get sick of a full-time job? Or will I be relieved that I don't have any assignments that keep me up all night? Will I love working full-time? Will it be hard to go back in the Fall? How will I feel? I don't know. It's kind of a foreign concept. Ask me in 8 months.

Note to self: Don't walk home from night class in the snow without a hat.
Guess I won't have to worry about THAT this semester...

And this:
I feel like I gotta add something that's a little more upbeat than the rest of this post to finish it off. Haha. So last week, I got to bring two of my youngest little sisters, Sara & Sofia, to my apartment for a few days leading up to Christmas. I got to play mommy. It was SO fun to have them here. They are the sweetest little things and I miss them all the time so I was really happy to get to keep them all to myself for a few days. We did so many fun things.. We went hot tubbing, we made big, yummy meals, had a spa day, watched lots of movies, checked out books and movies from the local public library, built the biggest fort I have ever seen in my life in my living room, went out for ice cream, played in the snow, went for walks, had a sleepover in the fort, read lots of books, and just spent lots of quality time together. It's really fun for me to get to watch them growing up, even though I miss a lot of it being away from them. But Sofie is getting so smart! She read the entire book, "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" by Dr. Seuss to me. And lots of others. She loves reading. And she KICKS my butt at word searches. And Sara - Sara is such a sweetheart. I swear that girl is an angel. She's really creative too. She wrote a book while she was at my house and seriously, it was better than any book I would've written. I told her she HAS to get it published. She even illustrated it with really detailed, cute drawings. I really loved getting to spend time with those girls and I think it was a really good way for me to get closer to them and let them know how much their big sister loves them and wants them to be happy. :) I also loved getting to act a little bit like a kid again!

These are my little girls on their first day of school last year.
So cute, right? You can see why they make me so happy :)

So that's what has been going on in my head and in my life for the last little bit.

Tell me...
Did you get grades back?
How were the holidays for you?
Do you have any suggestions for staying close to your friends who are far away?
Have you made fun memories with your family this winter?

Out,
Jacquie.